1
00:00:05,400 --> 00:00:07,020
Bro!
2
00:00:07,220 --> 00:00:10,620
This steakhouse for my bachelor
party tonight? Amazing!
3
00:00:10,820 --> 00:00:13,030
We got a bourbon
tasting, cigar lounge.
4
00:00:13,230 --> 00:00:15,630
I'm telling y'all, this
is the kind of place where
5
00:00:15,830 --> 00:00:19,300
there's a dude in the men's
room with mints and cologne.
6
00:00:19,500 --> 00:00:21,200
Okay, well, I better
take some small bills,
7
00:00:21,400 --> 00:00:24,790
because I don't want to pay
five dollars for a Tic Tac.
8
00:00:26,560 --> 00:00:28,540
Have fun with your
meats and cigars.
9
00:00:28,740 --> 00:00:31,660
Us ladies will be right here
having cocktails and massages.
10
00:00:32,700 --> 00:00:36,370
Well, all right, girls,
get your ladies' night on.
11
00:00:37,530 --> 00:00:39,126
And enjoy these nights
while you can, Necie.
12
00:00:39,150 --> 00:00:41,320
Once you have babies, those
nights are far and few.
13
00:00:41,520 --> 00:00:43,990
Oh, yeah, that's true.
14
00:00:44,190 --> 00:00:46,480
Making you boys was fun as hell.
15
00:00:47,410 --> 00:00:51,880
But raising y'all, now, that's
been an exhausting ordeal.
16
00:00:54,780 --> 00:00:57,540
What are we supposed
to say to that?
17
00:00:57,740 --> 00:01:00,620
Just internalize it.
18
00:01:01,720 --> 00:01:04,310
Marty, you haven't told
your parents we decided
19
00:01:04,510 --> 00:01:05,510
not to have kids?
20
00:01:05,710 --> 00:01:07,630
Well, not in so many words.
21
00:01:08,430 --> 00:01:09,900
Or any words.
22
00:01:10,900 --> 00:01:12,030
Come on, Marty.
23
00:01:12,800 --> 00:01:14,620
Look, Necie is about to
spend the entire night
24
00:01:14,820 --> 00:01:16,260
with a woman who's
already picked out
25
00:01:16,390 --> 00:01:18,860
six years' worth of her
grandkids' Easter outfits.
26
00:01:19,060 --> 00:01:20,990
I know. You're right.
27
00:01:21,190 --> 00:01:22,500
I'll tell them.
28
00:01:22,700 --> 00:01:23,900
Hey, you know what?
29
00:01:24,100 --> 00:01:25,740
Maybe they'll be so
excited about tonight,
30
00:01:25,800 --> 00:01:27,030
it won't even affect them.
31
00:01:27,230 --> 00:01:28,500
Oh, you think so?
32
00:01:28,700 --> 00:01:30,890
Hell nah. Barely
believed it as I said it.
33
00:01:32,020 --> 00:01:34,100
♪ Welcome to the block,
welcome to the neighborhood ♪
34
00:01:34,140 --> 00:01:35,560
♪ Welcome to the hood. ♪
35
00:01:40,960 --> 00:01:44,720
Well, I'm looking
good, I'm feeling good,
36
00:01:44,920 --> 00:01:46,550
and...
37
00:01:46,750 --> 00:01:49,040
and I'm smelling good.
38
00:01:50,170 --> 00:01:52,630
I am so excited for tonight.
39
00:01:52,830 --> 00:01:54,490
Yeah, about that.
40
00:01:54,690 --> 00:01:58,100
Please keep in mind that tonight
is supposed to be Marty's night.
41
00:01:58,300 --> 00:01:59,630
Yeah, of course I know that.
42
00:01:59,830 --> 00:02:01,000
Do you?
43
00:02:01,200 --> 00:02:02,200
What are you getting at?
44
00:02:02,300 --> 00:02:03,540
I'm just saying, you don't
45
00:02:03,740 --> 00:02:06,120
have a great history
at bachelor parties.
46
00:02:09,480 --> 00:02:11,610
I don't know what
you're talking about.
47
00:02:11,810 --> 00:02:14,700
Dave, Kevin's bachelor
party in Canc n?
48
00:02:15,730 --> 00:02:17,300
Matthew's in New Orleans?
49
00:02:17,930 --> 00:02:19,350
Gary's bachelor
party that started
50
00:02:19,550 --> 00:02:21,370
in Las Vegas and ended in jail?
51
00:02:23,540 --> 00:02:27,610
It was a detention
cell at the Bellagio.
52
00:02:28,380 --> 00:02:31,700
I'm just saying, these events
bring out the worst in you.
53
00:02:31,900 --> 00:02:34,170
That's why your friends
gave you the nickname.
54
00:02:34,370 --> 00:02:36,770
Did they? I-I don't
even remember.
55
00:02:36,970 --> 00:02:38,390
The Douche.
56
00:02:40,490 --> 00:02:42,310
This is supposed
to be a nice night,
57
00:02:42,510 --> 00:02:44,730
not an episode of Entourage.
58
00:02:46,200 --> 00:02:50,780
I promise you, I left
that guy at the Bellagio.
59
00:02:50,980 --> 00:02:53,540
There will be no a-douche.
60
00:02:54,970 --> 00:02:55,970
What's a douche?
61
00:02:57,860 --> 00:03:00,080
It's nothing. Dave, stop.
It's a feminine hygiene...
62
00:03:01,480 --> 00:03:04,050
It's used to... Dave, tap
out. Tap out. Tap out.
63
00:03:05,410 --> 00:03:08,020
Never mind. I'll just
go ask the Internet.
64
00:03:13,690 --> 00:03:14,710
Knock, knock.
65
00:03:14,910 --> 00:03:16,880
Hey.
Lookin' spiffy, Dad.
66
00:03:17,080 --> 00:03:19,530
Well, that settles
that.
67
00:03:21,330 --> 00:03:22,480
Uh...
68
00:03:22,680 --> 00:03:25,280
Uh, can I talk to
you both for a sec?
69
00:03:25,480 --> 00:03:28,090
Well, can't it wait until
we're out of the bathroom?
70
00:03:28,290 --> 00:03:31,360
No, because I might
chicken out.
71
00:03:31,560 --> 00:03:35,260
So, you know how Necie and
I are an unconventional,
72
00:03:35,460 --> 00:03:37,430
modern couple with
bold sensibilities
73
00:03:37,630 --> 00:03:39,830
that don't conform
to outdated norms?
74
00:03:40,030 --> 00:03:43,290
Is one of those outdated
norms getting to the point?
75
00:03:46,510 --> 00:03:51,010
So, Necie and I discussed
the idea of having kids,
76
00:03:51,210 --> 00:03:52,380
and...
77
00:03:52,580 --> 00:03:55,010
we realized that we
don't need children
78
00:03:55,210 --> 00:03:57,330
in our lives to feel complete.
79
00:03:58,500 --> 00:04:00,420
It's the decision
that we've made,
80
00:04:00,620 --> 00:04:02,420
and we hope that
you can respect it.
81
00:04:02,620 --> 00:04:04,810
You... So...
82
00:04:10,880 --> 00:04:12,160
Okay.
83
00:04:12,370 --> 00:04:15,600
So, how's that landing
on everyone? Mama?
84
00:04:15,800 --> 00:04:18,340
Oh, I didn't know
you were finished.
85
00:04:18,540 --> 00:04:21,220
Thanks for letting us know.
86
00:04:22,560 --> 00:04:23,560
That's it?
87
00:04:23,710 --> 00:04:26,110
Oh, I do have one
more thing to say.
88
00:04:26,310 --> 00:04:28,600
You boys have fun tonight.
89
00:04:29,500 --> 00:04:31,480
We will.
90
00:04:31,680 --> 00:04:34,190
Uh, you too, Mama.
91
00:04:34,390 --> 00:04:36,660
Thanks. Thanks for being
so cool about this.
92
00:04:36,860 --> 00:04:38,170
All right, now. Okay.
93
00:04:39,880 --> 00:04:42,330
Babe, are you sure
you're good with this?
94
00:04:42,530 --> 00:04:44,800
Would you look at this
mirror. It is filthy.
95
00:04:45,000 --> 00:04:46,930
Okay, Tina, that's not
what I'm talking abo...
96
00:04:47,130 --> 00:04:49,450
You know, I'm gonna get my
rubber gloves and some bleach.
97
00:04:51,490 --> 00:04:52,660
Oh, damn.
98
00:04:58,490 --> 00:04:59,886
Ooh, Calvin, listen.
Oh, good, listen.
99
00:04:59,910 --> 00:05:01,586
Let me tell you... Oh.
I need to, uh... No.
100
00:05:01,610 --> 00:05:02,880
Oh, sorry. No, you go. You go.
101
00:05:03,080 --> 00:05:04,296
No, you go. Okay.
Go, go, go. Go.
102
00:05:04,320 --> 00:05:05,350
Okay, um...
103
00:05:05,550 --> 00:05:07,050
Can you keep an eye
on Dave tonight?
104
00:05:07,250 --> 00:05:09,360
He's not gonna try
to rap again, is he?
105
00:05:09,560 --> 00:05:10,990
He might.
106
00:05:11,190 --> 00:05:13,590
Bachelor parties are
a trigger for him.
107
00:05:13,790 --> 00:05:15,890
When he gets around
alcohol and male bonding,
108
00:05:16,090 --> 00:05:17,510
he turns into...
109
00:05:18,480 --> 00:05:22,230
There's no nice way to
say this: The Douche.
110
00:05:22,440 --> 00:05:27,040
Huh. Okay, well, we got
bigger problems because
111
00:05:27,240 --> 00:05:32,040
Marty just told us that he and
Necie don't plan to have kids.
112
00:05:32,240 --> 00:05:35,280
Oh, my God. How did
you guys take it?
113
00:05:35,480 --> 00:05:38,550
Well, I was disappointed,
but I get it.
114
00:05:38,750 --> 00:05:39,890
But Tina?
115
00:05:40,090 --> 00:05:41,650
Did she scream?
116
00:05:41,850 --> 00:05:43,390
Ha! I wish.
117
00:05:43,590 --> 00:05:47,760
Tina's got three stages of
crazy before she loses it.
118
00:05:47,960 --> 00:05:52,700
One, she gets really quiet.
Two, she obsessively cleans.
119
00:05:52,900 --> 00:05:55,880
And three, she laughs at
stuff that's not even funny.
120
00:05:56,890 --> 00:05:58,100
Hey, girl!
121
00:05:58,300 --> 00:06:00,160
You ready to get
your massage on?
122
00:06:03,090 --> 00:06:04,560
Stage two?
123
00:06:05,530 --> 00:06:07,310
And hopefully we hold there.
124
00:06:07,510 --> 00:06:09,680
At least I know my house
is going to be spotless.
125
00:06:09,880 --> 00:06:11,250
Yeah.
126
00:06:11,450 --> 00:06:15,850
We have
ants. So many ants.
127
00:06:26,130 --> 00:06:27,370
Whoa, whoa.
128
00:06:27,570 --> 00:06:29,330
Wh-What happened to
the limo I ordered?
129
00:06:29,540 --> 00:06:31,940
The limo didn't have
no stripper pole.
130
00:06:32,140 --> 00:06:34,310
That was the point, Trey.
131
00:06:34,510 --> 00:06:35,940
Oh, check it out.
132
00:06:36,140 --> 00:06:38,730
It's about to be insane!
133
00:06:39,730 --> 00:06:41,280
You're welcome.
134
00:06:41,480 --> 00:06:44,550
Trey, this bus better be taking
us to that classy steakhouse.
135
00:06:44,750 --> 00:06:46,720
It is. Where we
are going to have
136
00:06:46,920 --> 00:06:47,650
a classy bourbon tasting.
137
00:06:47,850 --> 00:06:50,160
Yes. And no strippers.
138
00:06:50,360 --> 00:06:52,590
Well, now I got to make a call.
139
00:06:52,790 --> 00:06:55,030
Oh. Come on, man.
140
00:06:55,230 --> 00:06:58,710
I'll tell you, if these seats
are sticky, I'm taking an Uber.
141
00:07:00,450 --> 00:07:01,450
Dave, are you okay?
142
00:07:01,530 --> 00:07:03,340
Yeah, I'm fine. Fine.
143
00:07:03,540 --> 00:07:05,970
What are you doing,
man? It's just a bus.
144
00:07:06,170 --> 00:07:07,490
A party bus.
145
00:07:10,230 --> 00:07:11,590
Oh, boy.
146
00:07:14,900 --> 00:07:17,320
Hey, Necie, what's
up? Miss Tina.
147
00:07:17,520 --> 00:07:19,120
This is my friend Bree.
148
00:07:19,320 --> 00:07:20,550
Hi. So nice to meet you.
149
00:07:20,750 --> 00:07:22,466
Oh, nice to meet you.
Make yourself at home.
150
00:07:22,490 --> 00:07:23,760
So, Necie...
151
00:07:23,960 --> 00:07:26,060
Huh? Oh, Tina, this
is so interesting.
152
00:07:26,260 --> 00:07:28,260
What? Did you know Bree
has some big, big news?
153
00:07:28,460 --> 00:07:31,160
Mm. She's about to be on
Broadway and In the Heights.
154
00:07:31,360 --> 00:07:34,430
Oh, is that right? Uh-huh.
155
00:07:34,630 --> 00:07:36,450
Anyways, Necie, I have
a question for you.
156
00:07:37,650 --> 00:07:38,970
Have you ever seen
a pair of boots
157
00:07:39,170 --> 00:07:41,610
in the store and said, "I
don't want those boots,"
158
00:07:41,810 --> 00:07:44,480
but later you think, "I
wish I'd bought them"?
159
00:07:44,680 --> 00:07:46,710
So you go back to the
store, but it's too late,
160
00:07:46,910 --> 00:07:49,350
the boots are gone, and now
all your friends have boots,
161
00:07:49,550 --> 00:07:51,930
but you're too old to
have boots? You know?
162
00:07:53,670 --> 00:07:55,350
I'm sorry, what is the question?
163
00:07:55,550 --> 00:07:56,860
Well, I was trying to ask...
164
00:07:57,060 --> 00:07:58,580
Okay, ready for the
first two massages.
165
00:07:58,660 --> 00:08:00,860
Oh, thank God. Bree,
Necie, you guys go first.
166
00:08:01,060 --> 00:08:04,310
Oh, I don't have to
go... No, go, go, go, go.
167
00:08:07,380 --> 00:08:09,200
You know what? This
bus isn't so bad.
168
00:08:09,400 --> 00:08:11,600
Man, you know what?
It is kind of fun.
169
00:08:11,800 --> 00:08:12,870
Yeah, man.
170
00:08:13,070 --> 00:08:14,070
Whoa! Okay, then.
171
00:08:14,270 --> 00:08:16,810
Uh, why is this pole warm?
172
00:08:17,010 --> 00:08:19,650
Wait a minute.
Was it just used?
173
00:08:19,850 --> 00:08:20,850
No, man.
174
00:08:20,880 --> 00:08:23,430
The heater pole is a feature.
175
00:08:24,470 --> 00:08:26,220
I'm gonna need hand sanitizer.
176
00:08:26,420 --> 00:08:29,620
I got you.
177
00:08:29,820 --> 00:08:31,660
What?
178
00:08:31,860 --> 00:08:34,290
This thing is full
of Jell-O shots!
179
00:08:34,490 --> 00:08:35,660
Oh, boy.
180
00:08:35,860 --> 00:08:38,080
Well, all right!
181
00:08:39,250 --> 00:08:40,770
What are you doing, Trey?
182
00:08:40,970 --> 00:08:44,750
Jell-O shots? Are we
pledging a sorority?
183
00:08:46,050 --> 00:08:48,840
I guess one won't
hurt. Yeah, to Marty.
184
00:08:49,040 --> 00:08:50,340
To Marty.
185
00:08:50,540 --> 00:08:51,860
All right.
186
00:08:52,700 --> 00:08:55,930
I think someone put
alcohol liquor in these.
187
00:08:57,370 --> 00:09:00,250
You know, things went so
well with Mom and Dad,
188
00:09:00,450 --> 00:09:02,720
I'm actually in a
Jell-O shots mood.
189
00:09:02,920 --> 00:09:05,790
Hey, Dave? Dave, I thought
we agreed to one shot.
190
00:09:05,990 --> 00:09:08,860
Yes, one green shot.
These are purple.
191
00:09:09,060 --> 00:09:12,260
This must be Jell-O, because
jam don't shake like that!
192
00:09:12,460 --> 00:09:13,730
Let's go, boys! Hey...
193
00:09:21,220 --> 00:09:23,340
Marty, I didn't think this
night could get any better.
194
00:09:23,540 --> 00:09:27,160
But there's a
Snorlax in this room.
195
00:09:28,500 --> 00:09:31,880
Okay, okay, use your lucky
Pok Ball to catch them,
196
00:09:32,080 --> 00:09:34,140
but don't let my brother
see what you're doing.
197
00:09:34,970 --> 00:09:36,010
Hey, what's up? Whoa! Uh...
198
00:09:36,190 --> 00:09:38,020
Looking at sports!
199
00:09:38,220 --> 00:09:40,490
Sports. Sports.
200
00:09:40,690 --> 00:09:42,910
Okay. Yeah.
201
00:09:44,510 --> 00:09:46,870
Ah, what a night.
202
00:09:47,070 --> 00:09:48,930
Out on the town with my boys,
203
00:09:49,130 --> 00:09:52,400
enjoying steaks,
whiskey and cigars.
204
00:09:52,600 --> 00:09:55,540
Manly men manning it up.
205
00:09:58,510 --> 00:10:01,260
Daddy! Help me,
it's in my lungs!
206
00:10:02,160 --> 00:10:03,530
Boy, it's not even lit.
207
00:10:04,800 --> 00:10:06,550
But it's about to be!
208
00:10:12,470 --> 00:10:14,940
Marty, your friend is so cool.
209
00:10:16,910 --> 00:10:19,900
Gentlemen, who here has done
a bourbon tasting before?
210
00:10:20,100 --> 00:10:23,640
Oh, uh, Montez and
I are familiar.
211
00:10:23,840 --> 00:10:26,620
M-Montez, where are
you at? Hey, Montez.
212
00:10:28,220 --> 00:10:30,510
Dave, Dave, would
you calm down, man?
213
00:10:30,710 --> 00:10:32,580
Hmm. Uh-oh.
214
00:10:32,780 --> 00:10:34,430
Dad's mad.
215
00:10:35,460 --> 00:10:39,380
Now, the reason we use snifters
is: it concentrates the nose.
216
00:10:39,580 --> 00:10:41,590
And if you give it
a little swirl...
217
00:10:41,790 --> 00:10:43,170
Mmm!
218
00:10:46,780 --> 00:10:49,210
My tummy is a-toasty.
219
00:10:50,510 --> 00:10:52,576
Maybe I should just go ahead
and take your dinner orders.
220
00:10:52,600 --> 00:10:54,100
Yeah, yeah. Ooh, I got you.
221
00:10:54,300 --> 00:10:58,070
Simone, tomahawk steaks
all around. Rare.
222
00:10:58,270 --> 00:11:00,270
Still mooin'. Derek,
can I get a moo?
223
00:11:00,470 --> 00:11:01,470
Moo!
224
00:11:01,540 --> 00:11:02,780
Yeah, Derek!
225
00:11:02,980 --> 00:11:05,260
Uh, no, no, no. No mooing.
226
00:11:05,990 --> 00:11:07,350
Simone, I don't
want my steak rare.
227
00:11:07,450 --> 00:11:08,450
I want it well-done.
228
00:11:08,610 --> 00:11:10,720
All right? No mooing at all.
229
00:11:10,920 --> 00:11:12,280
Dead.
230
00:11:12,480 --> 00:11:15,670
Only thing red I want to
see on my plate is ketchup.
231
00:11:17,240 --> 00:11:20,630
Dudes, what are we doing?
232
00:11:20,830 --> 00:11:23,111
Marty is about to get married,
and we're just sitting here
233
00:11:23,300 --> 00:11:25,380
like a bunch of babies
at a baby shower.
234
00:11:26,820 --> 00:11:27,930
What?
235
00:11:33,990 --> 00:11:35,840
What is going on?
236
00:11:36,040 --> 00:11:37,510
Trey, is there a
club in the back?
237
00:11:37,710 --> 00:11:39,080
Oh, my God.
238
00:11:39,280 --> 00:11:41,060
I'm just as shocked as you are.
239
00:11:43,370 --> 00:11:46,650
The bachelor party
gods have spoken.
240
00:11:46,850 --> 00:11:48,420
And they have said,
241
00:11:48,620 --> 00:11:50,010
"Let it be lit."
242
00:11:50,870 --> 00:11:52,570
No, no, Dave, Dave...
Dave, Dave, Dave...
243
00:11:53,110 --> 00:11:54,490
And so it was!
244
00:11:56,090 --> 00:11:57,090
Trey, don't. No, no.
245
00:11:57,230 --> 00:11:58,400
Okay. Listen, guys,
246
00:11:58,600 --> 00:11:59,806
I got to go in
there and get them.
247
00:11:59,830 --> 00:12:01,376
I promised Gemma that
I wouldn't let Dave
248
00:12:01,400 --> 00:12:04,220
go off the deep end.
I got to go get him.
249
00:12:07,720 --> 00:12:10,580
Yo, it's been a minute
since Dad was in a club.
250
00:12:10,780 --> 00:12:13,250
Well, don't worry about
Pops. He can handle himself.
251
00:12:15,050 --> 00:12:16,580
Uh-uh, no, no, no.
252
00:12:16,780 --> 00:12:19,230
He's on his own.
The Douche is loose.
253
00:12:23,040 --> 00:12:24,890
So, Bree seems nice.
254
00:12:25,090 --> 00:12:26,620
Who?
255
00:12:26,830 --> 00:12:28,490
Necie's friend.
256
00:12:28,690 --> 00:12:30,660
Oh, yeah, yeah. Great, great.
257
00:12:30,860 --> 00:12:34,470
Oh, you know, I bet if
we went to New York,
258
00:12:34,670 --> 00:12:36,740
she could get us house
seats to In the Heights.
259
00:12:36,940 --> 00:12:39,170
Oh, that'd be so fun, right?
260
00:12:39,370 --> 00:12:41,710
I haven't been to New
York since high school.
261
00:12:41,910 --> 00:12:42,980
Mmm.
262
00:12:43,180 --> 00:12:45,110
Not to brag, but
I was in Model UN.
263
00:12:45,310 --> 00:12:48,330
I represented the
country of Cameroon.
264
00:12:51,570 --> 00:12:53,400
Tina?
265
00:12:55,100 --> 00:12:56,810
Oh, crap.
266
00:12:57,810 --> 00:13:00,430
Isn't this great, Bree?
267
00:13:00,630 --> 00:13:03,160
I can't remember the last
time I had a massage.
268
00:13:03,360 --> 00:13:05,880
Oh, yeah.
269
00:13:07,420 --> 00:13:10,640
You know, you should
treat yourself more often.
270
00:13:10,840 --> 00:13:12,100
Miss Tina?
271
00:13:12,300 --> 00:13:16,520
I'm so glad we're
going to have a chance to chat.
272
00:13:28,090 --> 00:13:29,770
You know what? I'd like
to propose a toast.
273
00:13:34,840 --> 00:13:38,410
Dudes, you have got
to come in there.
274
00:13:39,650 --> 00:13:41,830
Dave, where'd you get the tiara?
275
00:13:42,030 --> 00:13:44,170
Hmm? Oh, it's a crown.
276
00:13:44,370 --> 00:13:46,650
I'm royalty in there.
277
00:13:48,220 --> 00:13:49,410
Derek, come on.
278
00:13:49,610 --> 00:13:51,230
Okay, but don't lose me.
279
00:13:52,190 --> 00:13:54,186
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Hey, guys, guys, guys, come on.
280
00:13:54,210 --> 00:13:55,680
Come on. Look, sit down. Okay?
281
00:13:55,880 --> 00:13:59,620
Wait, look. My pops is trying
to give a speech. Come on, Dave.
282
00:13:59,820 --> 00:14:01,520
You're right. Sorry.
283
00:14:01,720 --> 00:14:03,060
Uh, Derek, sit down.
284
00:14:03,260 --> 00:14:06,760
Show a little respect.
Calvin, the floor is yours.
285
00:14:06,960 --> 00:14:08,690
Thank you, Dave.
286
00:14:08,890 --> 00:14:13,200
Uh, I'd like to propose
a toast to my son Marty.
287
00:14:13,400 --> 00:14:14,670
Hey.
288
00:14:14,870 --> 00:14:16,990
I mean, it seems like only
yesterday I was holding you
289
00:14:17,070 --> 00:14:18,940
in my arms for the
very first time.
290
00:14:19,140 --> 00:14:21,640
Next thing you know,
you were a little kid
291
00:14:21,840 --> 00:14:23,410
on my shoulders at the zoo,
292
00:14:23,610 --> 00:14:26,910
just going on and on
with your penguin facts
293
00:14:27,110 --> 00:14:29,860
while your snow cone
dripped on my head.
294
00:14:31,300 --> 00:14:33,320
But I just let it
drip because I never
295
00:14:33,520 --> 00:14:36,100
wanted you to stop
telling me things.
296
00:14:37,210 --> 00:14:40,390
The amount of joy that you
and Malcolm have given me,
297
00:14:40,590 --> 00:14:42,190
it's just been amazing.
298
00:14:42,390 --> 00:14:45,260
The Christmas mornings,
the school projects,
299
00:14:45,460 --> 00:14:47,250
even the broken arms.
300
00:14:50,050 --> 00:14:52,890
I wouldn't change one
minute of it for anything.
301
00:14:53,890 --> 00:14:55,470
Now you're getting married.
302
00:14:57,310 --> 00:14:59,580
That means I got to let you go.
303
00:14:59,780 --> 00:15:01,910
So...
304
00:15:02,110 --> 00:15:03,680
To my baby boy Marty.
305
00:15:03,880 --> 00:15:05,620
I love you, son.
I love you, man.
306
00:15:05,820 --> 00:15:08,200
Ah...
307
00:15:09,770 --> 00:15:11,470
I want babies!
308
00:15:15,110 --> 00:15:18,630
I want snow cone juice
to drip on my head.
309
00:15:18,830 --> 00:15:20,850
I want babies so bad.
310
00:15:24,550 --> 00:15:26,440
Mmm.
311
00:15:26,640 --> 00:15:27,970
What's that scent?
312
00:15:28,170 --> 00:15:30,110
Huh, I think it's lavender.
313
00:15:30,310 --> 00:15:33,400
Ooh, I think you're right.
314
00:15:34,560 --> 00:15:37,980
While we're on the subject...
315
00:15:38,180 --> 00:15:39,830
Why do you hate kids?
316
00:15:40,900 --> 00:15:42,690
What? I love kids.
317
00:15:42,890 --> 00:15:44,860
I'm godmother to
both of Bree's kids.
318
00:15:45,060 --> 00:15:46,890
Who the hell is Bree?
319
00:15:47,090 --> 00:15:50,000
The woman you kicked
off the massage table.
320
00:15:50,200 --> 00:15:51,460
Oh.
321
00:15:51,660 --> 00:15:54,550
Yeah, yeah, yeah, th-the
one from Hamilton.
322
00:15:56,550 --> 00:16:00,540
I mean, what is it? Is
it about your career?
323
00:16:00,740 --> 00:16:02,070
Traveling?
324
00:16:02,270 --> 00:16:04,930
Do you have a bad
relationship with your mother?
325
00:16:06,630 --> 00:16:07,650
I love my mother.
326
00:16:07,850 --> 00:16:11,270
I think we'll take a five.
327
00:16:13,570 --> 00:16:16,090
Is it your body? Because...
328
00:16:16,290 --> 00:16:18,070
I can carry the baby.
329
00:16:18,940 --> 00:16:22,440
My doctor says I have the
uterus of a 24-year-old.
330
00:16:26,580 --> 00:16:28,530
Miss Tina...
331
00:16:28,730 --> 00:16:31,670
there are so many things
I want to do with my life.
332
00:16:31,870 --> 00:16:35,490
Being a mother just doesn't
happen to be one of them.
333
00:16:37,630 --> 00:16:40,510
I just don't get it.
334
00:16:40,710 --> 00:16:43,780
How could you not
want to be a mother?
335
00:16:43,980 --> 00:16:46,950
It's just who I am.
336
00:16:47,150 --> 00:16:49,900
How could you not
want to be a boxer?
337
00:16:50,910 --> 00:16:52,720
Come on now, that's
totally different.
338
00:16:52,920 --> 00:16:55,310
Mm, they both hurt.
339
00:16:56,880 --> 00:16:59,500
Tell me about it.
340
00:16:59,700 --> 00:17:01,870
But children, they-they bring
341
00:17:02,070 --> 00:17:04,440
so much laughter and-and joy.
342
00:17:04,640 --> 00:17:07,840
Marty brings me so
much laughter and joy.
343
00:17:08,040 --> 00:17:10,380
Yeah, okay, but Marty is...
344
00:17:10,580 --> 00:17:11,740
We love each other,
345
00:17:11,940 --> 00:17:15,210
and we're happy with
the choice we've made,
346
00:17:15,410 --> 00:17:18,100
even if it's not the
choice you would've made.
347
00:17:21,340 --> 00:17:22,570
You're right.
348
00:17:24,040 --> 00:17:26,690
I've been putting
my dreams on you,
349
00:17:26,890 --> 00:17:28,510
and that's not fair.
350
00:17:29,910 --> 00:17:31,800
I guess I was just
a little surprised
351
00:17:32,000 --> 00:17:33,930
when Marty told us.
352
00:17:34,130 --> 00:17:36,800
He always talked
about being a dad.
353
00:17:37,000 --> 00:17:38,000
Really?
354
00:17:38,170 --> 00:17:40,310
Look around. Look
at all these toys.
355
00:17:40,510 --> 00:17:42,940
I've been trying to throw
these toys out for years,
356
00:17:43,140 --> 00:17:44,610
but Marty would never let me.
357
00:17:44,810 --> 00:17:47,430
He says, "Mom,
they're classics."
358
00:17:50,500 --> 00:17:52,930
He wanted to save
them for his kids.
359
00:17:53,870 --> 00:17:58,240
I guess, um, this news
caught me a little off guard.
360
00:17:59,840 --> 00:18:01,860
Marty never told me that.
361
00:18:02,060 --> 00:18:05,050
You know, I owe you an apology.
362
00:18:06,350 --> 00:18:08,330
I don't know if you
noticed, but, uh,
363
00:18:08,530 --> 00:18:10,690
I've been a little
crazy this evening.
364
00:18:14,160 --> 00:18:15,570
Will you forgive me?
365
00:18:18,710 --> 00:18:20,450
No, Tina, stop. What?
366
00:18:20,650 --> 00:18:24,200
Oh, you're hugging.
Phew. As you were.
367
00:18:30,790 --> 00:18:32,920
Hey, uh, Marty.
368
00:18:33,120 --> 00:18:34,730
The things I said in my toast...
369
00:18:34,930 --> 00:18:36,190
Listen, I wasn't trying to...
370
00:18:36,390 --> 00:18:38,460
No, it's-it's okay, Dad.
371
00:18:38,660 --> 00:18:39,800
Okay.
372
00:18:40,000 --> 00:18:41,446
That was my favorite thing
you've ever said to me.
373
00:18:41,470 --> 00:18:43,420
Even though it was
Malcolm at the zoo.
374
00:18:44,720 --> 00:18:46,770
Really? Yup.
375
00:18:46,970 --> 00:18:48,210
Marty hated penguins.
376
00:18:48,410 --> 00:18:50,440
Scared the
hell out of me.
377
00:18:50,640 --> 00:18:51,710
They still do.
378
00:18:51,910 --> 00:18:53,450
But...
379
00:18:53,650 --> 00:18:56,380
you're still the best
dad a guy could ask for.
380
00:18:56,580 --> 00:18:57,980
And hearing how
much being a father
381
00:18:58,180 --> 00:19:01,120
meant to you, I want that.
382
00:19:01,320 --> 00:19:02,920
Are you sure?
383
00:19:03,120 --> 00:19:04,590
Because I feel like
384
00:19:04,790 --> 00:19:06,720
I should've just kept
my big mouth closed.
385
00:19:06,920 --> 00:19:09,190
No, I'm sure.
386
00:19:09,390 --> 00:19:11,160
You know, I told myself
I didn't want kids,
387
00:19:11,360 --> 00:19:14,300
but I was lying to myself
388
00:19:14,500 --> 00:19:16,050
and to Necie.
389
00:19:17,220 --> 00:19:19,940
So... who cried at Six Flags?
390
00:19:20,140 --> 00:19:21,410
That was you, right?
391
00:19:21,610 --> 00:19:23,780
Yup, yup, that was me. Yeah.
392
00:19:23,980 --> 00:19:25,420
Yeah, that was
definitely Marty. Okay.
393
00:19:25,610 --> 00:19:27,370
Remember he was scared
on the roller coaster?
394
00:19:27,410 --> 00:19:29,710
No, you pretended the
safety bar wouldn't latch.
395
00:19:31,450 --> 00:19:33,130
And he cried, he was
crying. He was crying.
396
00:19:33,290 --> 00:19:35,220
"Daddy, get me out of here."
397
00:19:35,420 --> 00:19:37,660
Oh, the guys are here.
398
00:19:37,860 --> 00:19:40,860
Derek, me, you, Frisbee golf,
399
00:19:41,060 --> 00:19:42,890
next weekend. Montez,
400
00:19:43,090 --> 00:19:45,180
blow up my DMs, please.
401
00:19:49,050 --> 00:19:51,170
I see you met The Douche.
402
00:19:51,370 --> 00:19:52,140
Yup.
403
00:19:52,340 --> 00:19:54,390
Not a fan. Uh-uh.
404
00:19:55,760 --> 00:19:58,080
Ooh. Okay, babe,
405
00:19:58,280 --> 00:19:59,520
you are not gonna believe this,
406
00:19:59,610 --> 00:20:01,410
but Necie and I
just talked, and...
407
00:20:01,610 --> 00:20:04,620
I'm actually okay with
them not wanting babies.
408
00:20:04,820 --> 00:20:06,420
Well, I got news for you.
409
00:20:06,620 --> 00:20:08,990
Marty actually does want babies.
410
00:20:09,190 --> 00:20:10,790
He does?
411
00:20:10,990 --> 00:20:12,660
Hmm.
412
00:20:12,860 --> 00:20:16,560
Uh-oh.
413
00:20:16,760 --> 00:20:18,230
Necie, hey.
414
00:20:18,430 --> 00:20:19,460
Hey.
415
00:20:19,660 --> 00:20:20,770
You guys have fun?
416
00:20:20,970 --> 00:20:23,070
Yeah, yeah. You?
417
00:20:23,270 --> 00:20:25,440
Yeah, yeah.
418
00:20:25,640 --> 00:20:28,570
Look, I think we should talk.
419
00:20:28,770 --> 00:20:31,690
Yeah, I was just about
to say the same thing.
420
00:20:32,560 --> 00:20:33,980
Whoa, whoa, whoa, dudes.
421
00:20:34,180 --> 00:20:36,380
Oh, God, here he comes. Go
in the house. Go, go, go, go.
422
00:20:36,450 --> 00:20:39,420
Dudes, dudes.
Where are we going?
423
00:20:39,620 --> 00:20:41,526
I thought we were gonna go
out and slam some waffles.
424
00:20:41,550 --> 00:20:43,460
Dave, come on, let's go home.
425
00:20:43,660 --> 00:20:46,370
Let's go home, buddy. Come on.
426
00:20:47,540 --> 00:20:49,930
Hey, Derek, check this out.
This is who I'm married to.
427
00:20:50,130 --> 00:20:52,680
Smokeshow. Okay.
428
00:21:02,960 --> 00:21:06,010
Captioning sponsored by CBS
429
00:21:06,210 --> 00:21:08,610
and TOYOTA.
430
00:21:08,810 --> 00:21:12,200
Captioned by Media Access
Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org